Sunday, May 24

Everything Tastes Better Fried

Owning a deepfryer comes with its own special hazards. Some are obvious, like the possibility of spilling 375 degree oil all over yourself, forcing you to live out your days like Liam Neeson on permanent painkillers. Others are more subtle, like the insatiable need to deepfry anything you can get your hands on. The need is a beast, and the beast must be fed.

Today, that beast wants chimichangas. I wish I could say something about the components of the burritos, but let's face it. It's a bunch of crap rolled in a tortilla. In this case, it's a shmear refried beans, spoonfuls of salsa and sour cream, mexican rice (from the box; if it's Goya, it's got to be good) mixed with taco meat, and a mix of shredded Muenster and white cheddar.

Brilliant culinarism? No. But effective. Sometimes, a guy's just gotta make what's easy. Speaking of easy, it's tricky to get a tight roll on these if you're not willing to get your hands dirty. Lucky for me, that's never been a problem.

One of the driving principles of frydom is a self-contained unit. You can't just go dropping stuff into hot oil all willy-nilly without making sure it'll keep its hands to itself first. For chimis, that means making sure that the tortilla is well-sealed on both ends.

While we're on the topic of tortillas, you, gentle reader, should be aware of something. Tortillas freak out in oil. They want to spasm all over the place, spread their wings and be free, dumping whatever they're encasing into the oil to make a mockery of your organizational skills. This means you have to pin these little jammies down when you drop 'em into the oil. I like to use this here spider.

Admittedly, this means I can only do one of these at a time. But believe me, it's worth the wait. For after five minutes, you will be rewarded with a golden brown and crispy chimichanga.

With the insides all hot and melty.

Eat your heart out, Taco Bell. If I'm going to liquefy my colon and solidify my aorta, I'm going to do it in the comfort of my own home on my own terms, thank you very much.

Fry on, gentle readers! Fry on.

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